Oracle of Delphi
Bruce Bostwick
Craig HillWWE The Great American Bash pay-per-view July 20, 2008 Results and Highlights
July 23rd 2008 05:32
WWE The Great American Bash – Naussau Coliseum, Uniondale, New York
Fatal Four-Way for the WWE Tag Team Championships
Champions John Morrison & The Miz vs. Curt Hawkins & Zach Ryder vs. Finlay & Hornswaggle vs. Jesse & Festus
This was a typical four-way match, each team took turns taking control of the match, then the two fan favorite teams took control again, and both had the chance to win, but in the end neither would win. Hawkins and Ryder would get the pin on Jesse and become the new champions. My prediction of Jesse and Festus becoming champions was incorrect this time, but some time in the near future I still think they will beat the new champs for the belts.
Winners and new WWE Tag Team Champions: Curt Hawkins & Zach Ryder
United States Championship Match
Champion Matt Hardy vs. Shelton Benjamin
This match wasn’t very exciting when it was on TV recently, and it was only marginally more exciting this time on a pay-per-view. My prediction that Shelton Benjamin would win was correct.
Winner and new United States Champion: Shelton Benjamin
Again they added filler to the PPV. This time by showing an interview with CM Punk from last week, followed by reairing clips from Smackdown and Triple H’s video.
ECW Championship Match
Champion Mark Henry accompanied by Tony Atlas vs. Tommy Dreamer accompanied by Colin Delany
The story of this match was sort of Mike Adamle’s idiocy. First he said Dreamer was a 14-time Hardcore champion, then he called a splash by Henry a World’s Strongest Slam. When or when will they get rid of him? Henry controlled most of the match, but Dreamer turned it around. He went to the ropes and was preparing to leap down onto Henry, but Colin Delany reached out, grabbed his arm and clotheslines him across the top rope. Henry then hit the slam, and got the pin. So much for this prediction. Now we will have to put up with an annoying feud between Dreamer & Delany.
Winner and still ECW Champion: Mark Henry
Shawn Michaels vs. Chris Jericho
Started off as a not so good match. Lance Cade came down and interfered. Then Shawn Michaels was busted open right near his previously injured eye. Jericho took every chance her could to hit him in the eye. The ref kept pushing Jericho back so he could check the eye. Michaels kept pleading with the ref to not stop the match, with Jericho jumping in every once in awhile to beat on him some more. As Jericho held him in a headlock and pound on the open wound again and again the ref jumped in and physically removed Jericho from him, and then immediately stopped the match.
Winner: Chris Jericho
While they changed the wrestling mat that was now covered in Shawn Michaels blood they ran a commercial for SummerSlam, and then went to an interview with Edge.
WWE Divas Championship Match
Michelle McCool vs. Natalya
Natalya put on the Sharpshooter, but Michelle got to the ropes to break the hold. Eventually Michelle McCool slapped on the Brazilian Heel Hook and Matalya tried to fight out but then finally submitted. I am happy this prediction didn’t turn out correct for me.
Winner and the first WWE Divas Champion: Michelle McCool
As she celebrated in the ring Chris Jericho came out to make an announcement. He wanted to tell people to save their ticket stubs because they had just seen Shawn Michaels’s last match. He went on to say he was just in the trainer’s room in the back and was told that Michaels has a detached retina.
Next a commercial for the new Ric Flair DVD, which btw you can buy through Amazon below.
World Heavyweight Championship Match
Champion CM Punk vs. Batista
This was a very good match, which was expected considering who was in it. There was plenty of action. Punk had an answer for almost everything that Batista threw at him, using a lot of kicks and speed to come back again and again. Just when it seemed Batista might be on the verge of winning the match down came Kane. He grabbed Batista from behind and whipped him into the steel ring post. He then climbed into the ring along with the burlap bag he has been carrying with him. He chokeslammed Punk and then left with the bag. Before he left, he asked again, “Is he alive or dead?”, and kicked a camera man again.
Winner via disqualification and still champion: CM Punk
Batista wasn’t happy and hit Punk with a Batista Bomb before he left the ring.
Time for intermission. Oh wait, it isn’t intermission, just the Cena – JBL match.
NYC Parking Lot Brawl
JBL vs. John Cena
JBL has changed a bit, nowadays he shows up for a parking lot brawl in his suit and carrying a crowbar. Somewhere in the back Ron Simmons just cringed, and said “Damn!” He got out and started hunting for Cena in the ring of cars that was setup. JBL climbed up on one car, and then the one across from it started up and Cena drove it into the front of the one he was standing on. Then Cena attacked him with a set of jumper cables, whipping and choking him with them. He then opened the hood of one of the cars, hooked one jumper cable to JBL’s “special area below his waist”, and the other end to the battery. It was funny, but yes WWE writers think our intelligence level has dropped far enough for us to think that this would do anything at all to JBL. Cena was then whipped into an open car door which snapped right off. By the way this NYV Parking Lot Brawl was taking place inside the backstage area, I guess maybe it was raining outside or something. JBL hit a swinging neckbreaker on the hood of a car, and then got a two count. He then threw Cena into the windshield of a car, and hit him with a DDT on the roof of the same car, leading to another two count. JBL continued to pummel Cena for a bit. He put Cena in the backseat of a car and then went back to his limo to retrieve a gas can, he then proceeded to pour the gas all over the outside of the car. He then lit it up, which led to who I am going to call Referee Captain Obvious to yell, “Fire! Fire!” Out came two guys with fire extinguishers who were standing just off camera. In the meantime the camera followed JBL who was walking over to get a forklift. Cena climbed out of the car and charged over to JBL before he had a chance to do anything with the forklift, then Cena took over. He stuffed JBL into the back of a car, and then the camera followed Cena over to get a forklift. He charged the car with the blades of the forklift, then backed up and lifted the car up and drove off with it. Where to you ask? Well out to the ringside area of course! Cena would hit the Five Knuckle Shuffle on the stage at the top of the entrance ramp. He then lifted him up for the FU, but hesitated, and moved toward the car he had just brought into the arena. This gave JBL the chance to counter and then shove Cena off the stage and into the windshield of the car. He then pinned him on the car.
Winner: JBL
Cena was a bit bloodied by the windshield. It seems his arm didn’t hit quite right and he really did get cut by the windshield.
Another commercial for SummerSlam.
WWE Championship Match
Champion Triple H vs. Edge
I didn’t expect I would be saying this, but the majority of the beginning of this match wasn’t very exciting. I may have even enjoyed the Cena-JBL match more. Triple H avoided a spear, and Edge countered a couple of tries at the Pedigree. Late in the match with both competitors down on the mat our came former wedding planner Alicia Fox. She went and got the WWE title and put it on the ring apron for Edge to grab and use, but as she turned around Vickie was charging at her and hit her with a bad looking clothesline. Vickie then took the belt and climbed into the ring. She shoved the referee out of the way, and looked to be ready to hit Edge with the belt, but Alicia came into the ring and started fighting with Vickie. The ref broke them up and was holding onto Alicia when Edge charged in for a spear. It is unclear just who he was trying to hit, but it hit Vickie. Edge was stunned, Triple H came up from behind him hit the Pedigree, and got the three count.
Winner and still WWE Champion: Triple H
Chavo Guerrero actually came down to the ring and was checking on Vickie.
Well, I must say woohoo, Morrison and Miz are no longer the champs! However Ryder & Hawkins aren't a whole lot better. Shelton Benjamin indeed did win the United States Title, and will probably hold it for a while. I am so not looking forward to Dreamer vs. Colin Delany. Could Shawn Michaels really be done? Could wrestling lose Ric Flair, Shawn Michaels, and The Undertaker all in the same year? One would hope not, but it might be time.
Michelle McCool was a much better choice to be the first Divas champion than Natalya would have been. I can't wait till she defends it against Kelly Kelly in the near future.
There are sure to be more Punk - Batista matches coming up, which might get old fast.
For me the biggest surprise was the Cena-JBL match which was much better than I expected. Unfortunately Edge-Triple H will probably happen again. It wasn't a really bad match, but there are so many better options.
Again, the WWE copies bits and pieces of TNA, they should review how to do a three hour pay-per-view to give everyone a better overall show.
Fatal Four-Way for the WWE Tag Team Championships
Champions John Morrison & The Miz vs. Curt Hawkins & Zach Ryder vs. Finlay & Hornswaggle vs. Jesse & Festus
This was a typical four-way match, each team took turns taking control of the match, then the two fan favorite teams took control again, and both had the chance to win, but in the end neither would win. Hawkins and Ryder would get the pin on Jesse and become the new champions. My prediction of Jesse and Festus becoming champions was incorrect this time, but some time in the near future I still think they will beat the new champs for the belts.
Winners and new WWE Tag Team Champions: Curt Hawkins & Zach Ryder
United States Championship Match
Champion Matt Hardy vs. Shelton Benjamin
This match wasn’t very exciting when it was on TV recently, and it was only marginally more exciting this time on a pay-per-view. My prediction that Shelton Benjamin would win was correct.
Winner and new United States Champion: Shelton Benjamin
Again they added filler to the PPV. This time by showing an interview with CM Punk from last week, followed by reairing clips from Smackdown and Triple H’s video.
ECW Championship Match
Champion Mark Henry accompanied by Tony Atlas vs. Tommy Dreamer accompanied by Colin Delany
The story of this match was sort of Mike Adamle’s idiocy. First he said Dreamer was a 14-time Hardcore champion, then he called a splash by Henry a World’s Strongest Slam. When or when will they get rid of him? Henry controlled most of the match, but Dreamer turned it around. He went to the ropes and was preparing to leap down onto Henry, but Colin Delany reached out, grabbed his arm and clotheslines him across the top rope. Henry then hit the slam, and got the pin. So much for this prediction. Now we will have to put up with an annoying feud between Dreamer & Delany.
Winner and still ECW Champion: Mark Henry
Shawn Michaels vs. Chris Jericho
Started off as a not so good match. Lance Cade came down and interfered. Then Shawn Michaels was busted open right near his previously injured eye. Jericho took every chance her could to hit him in the eye. The ref kept pushing Jericho back so he could check the eye. Michaels kept pleading with the ref to not stop the match, with Jericho jumping in every once in awhile to beat on him some more. As Jericho held him in a headlock and pound on the open wound again and again the ref jumped in and physically removed Jericho from him, and then immediately stopped the match.
Winner: Chris Jericho
While they changed the wrestling mat that was now covered in Shawn Michaels blood they ran a commercial for SummerSlam, and then went to an interview with Edge.
WWE Divas Championship Match
Michelle McCool vs. Natalya
Michelle McCool became the first ever WWE Divas Champion after making Natalya tap out.
Winner and the first WWE Divas Champion: Michelle McCool
As she celebrated in the ring Chris Jericho came out to make an announcement. He wanted to tell people to save their ticket stubs because they had just seen Shawn Michaels’s last match. He went on to say he was just in the trainer’s room in the back and was told that Michaels has a detached retina.
Next a commercial for the new Ric Flair DVD, which btw you can buy through Amazon below.
World Heavyweight Championship Match
Champion CM Punk vs. Batista
This was a very good match, which was expected considering who was in it. There was plenty of action. Punk had an answer for almost everything that Batista threw at him, using a lot of kicks and speed to come back again and again. Just when it seemed Batista might be on the verge of winning the match down came Kane. He grabbed Batista from behind and whipped him into the steel ring post. He then climbed into the ring along with the burlap bag he has been carrying with him. He chokeslammed Punk and then left with the bag. Before he left, he asked again, “Is he alive or dead?”, and kicked a camera man again.
Winner via disqualification and still champion: CM Punk
Batista wasn’t happy and hit Punk with a Batista Bomb before he left the ring.
Time for intermission. Oh wait, it isn’t intermission, just the Cena – JBL match.
NYC Parking Lot Brawl
JBL vs. John Cena
JBL has changed a bit, nowadays he shows up for a parking lot brawl in his suit and carrying a crowbar. Somewhere in the back Ron Simmons just cringed, and said “Damn!” He got out and started hunting for Cena in the ring of cars that was setup. JBL climbed up on one car, and then the one across from it started up and Cena drove it into the front of the one he was standing on. Then Cena attacked him with a set of jumper cables, whipping and choking him with them. He then opened the hood of one of the cars, hooked one jumper cable to JBL’s “special area below his waist”, and the other end to the battery. It was funny, but yes WWE writers think our intelligence level has dropped far enough for us to think that this would do anything at all to JBL. Cena was then whipped into an open car door which snapped right off. By the way this NYV Parking Lot Brawl was taking place inside the backstage area, I guess maybe it was raining outside or something. JBL hit a swinging neckbreaker on the hood of a car, and then got a two count. He then threw Cena into the windshield of a car, and hit him with a DDT on the roof of the same car, leading to another two count. JBL continued to pummel Cena for a bit. He put Cena in the backseat of a car and then went back to his limo to retrieve a gas can, he then proceeded to pour the gas all over the outside of the car. He then lit it up, which led to who I am going to call Referee Captain Obvious to yell, “Fire! Fire!” Out came two guys with fire extinguishers who were standing just off camera. In the meantime the camera followed JBL who was walking over to get a forklift. Cena climbed out of the car and charged over to JBL before he had a chance to do anything with the forklift, then Cena took over. He stuffed JBL into the back of a car, and then the camera followed Cena over to get a forklift. He charged the car with the blades of the forklift, then backed up and lifted the car up and drove off with it. Where to you ask? Well out to the ringside area of course! Cena would hit the Five Knuckle Shuffle on the stage at the top of the entrance ramp. He then lifted him up for the FU, but hesitated, and moved toward the car he had just brought into the arena. This gave JBL the chance to counter and then shove Cena off the stage and into the windshield of the car. He then pinned him on the car.
Winner: JBL
Cena was a bit bloodied by the windshield. It seems his arm didn’t hit quite right and he really did get cut by the windshield.
Another commercial for SummerSlam.
WWE Championship Match
Champion Triple H vs. Edge
I didn’t expect I would be saying this, but the majority of the beginning of this match wasn’t very exciting. I may have even enjoyed the Cena-JBL match more. Triple H avoided a spear, and Edge countered a couple of tries at the Pedigree. Late in the match with both competitors down on the mat our came former wedding planner Alicia Fox. She went and got the WWE title and put it on the ring apron for Edge to grab and use, but as she turned around Vickie was charging at her and hit her with a bad looking clothesline. Vickie then took the belt and climbed into the ring. She shoved the referee out of the way, and looked to be ready to hit Edge with the belt, but Alicia came into the ring and started fighting with Vickie. The ref broke them up and was holding onto Alicia when Edge charged in for a spear. It is unclear just who he was trying to hit, but it hit Vickie. Edge was stunned, Triple H came up from behind him hit the Pedigree, and got the three count.
Winner and still WWE Champion: Triple H
Chavo Guerrero actually came down to the ring and was checking on Vickie.
Well, I must say woohoo, Morrison and Miz are no longer the champs! However Ryder & Hawkins aren't a whole lot better. Shelton Benjamin indeed did win the United States Title, and will probably hold it for a while. I am so not looking forward to Dreamer vs. Colin Delany. Could Shawn Michaels really be done? Could wrestling lose Ric Flair, Shawn Michaels, and The Undertaker all in the same year? One would hope not, but it might be time.
Michelle McCool was a much better choice to be the first Divas champion than Natalya would have been. I can't wait till she defends it against Kelly Kelly in the near future.
There are sure to be more Punk - Batista matches coming up, which might get old fast.
For me the biggest surprise was the Cena-JBL match which was much better than I expected. Unfortunately Edge-Triple H will probably happen again. It wasn't a really bad match, but there are so many better options.
Again, the WWE copies bits and pieces of TNA, they should review how to do a three hour pay-per-view to give everyone a better overall show.
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