Two Guys Sports
Bruce BostwickTNA iMPACT! Wrap Up 7-3-08
July 6th 2008 08:58
TNA iMPACT! From the iMPACT! Zone
Episode Title: The Mating Game
The show started off with A.J. Styles and Karen Angle coming down to the ring. A.J. called out Kurt Angle, but instead out came Team 3D. They talked a bunch back and forth, then got to fighting. While they were getting the table Rhino came out to save A.J.. They then set up a match at Victory Road which the fans will have the chance to decide the stipulations of the match. It will be Team 3D and Kurt Angle vs. A.J. Styles, Rhino, and Christian Cage in either a Tables, Ladders, and Chairs match, a Falls Count Anywhere match, or a Full Metal Mayhem match.
Next we go on location with JB and Kurt Angle who is about to go on his first of three blind dates that Team 3D set him up on. He was meeting the first one at the rock wall in the gym. He got there and found a loud woman who was not quite attractive and looked to be lucky that she got into the safety harness, nevermind being able to climb the rock wall. The camera turned to Kurt and he said “Very funny Brother Ray and Brother Devon, the joke’s on me, huh?”
After the break...
We got to see some videos sent in by the applicants for the Fan’s Revenge match between LAX and Beer-Money, Inc.. Then they went to Houston for comments from LAX, until James Storms music started to play in the iMPACT! Zone. They came out to the ring and talked over one another for a bit. Down came their opponents for the night, The Motor City Machine Guns, Chris Sabin, and Alex Shelley
Robert Roode & James Storm vs. Chris Sabin & Alex Shelley
It was the usual MCMG (Motor City Machine Gun) match, they controlled early with fast-paced action. That is until a cheap shot from Storm on Sabin which allowed them to takeover. They would fight off the Machine Guns attempt at offense again. Then Storm held Shelley while Jackie took a swig of beer and tried to spit it in his face, but Shelley ducked and it went right into Storm’s face. He then rolled him up for the three count.
Winners: The Motor City Machine Guns
After the match Beer-Money, Inc. attacked, and handcuffed MCMG to the corners of the ring and started to whip them with the belts. Refs came down to try and stop them and got whipped too, then security suffered the same fate. They then whipped announcer Don West a few times, and moved onto ring announcer Dave Pinzer. At this point Jim Cornette came out and told them if they whip that man one more time they are both out of a job. He then decided to put them in a match later tonight against the two most disgruntled, biggest, a whole bunch of other adjectives wrestlers he could find in the back.
After the break…
Time for blind date #2. This time it is Melissa and he is meeting “her” for drinks. She walks in and Kurt comments how it is dark in the place, even though he is wearing his sunglasses. He then has JB turn the camera onto Melissa. Of course JB focuses right on her chest. He notices a bunch of chest hair! Then notices an adam’s apple. He informs Kurt that she is a he and Kurt flips out and attacks him. Telling him to tell Brother Ray he is going to kick his butt on Thursday.
Back to the ring…
Bimbo’s Brawl
(Mickie) Moose vs. Roxxi
This week it was a bit more exciting than the match with ODB. It included a lot more use of weapons. By the end Roxxi was busted open and pouring blood from above her eye. Moose got the win.
Winner: Moose
To the back with Jim Cornette getting the two men for the match with Beer-Money, Inc.. The first member of the team is Kevin Nash who says yes.
After the break…
Jim Cornette again, getting the second man of the team, Samoa Joe. Joes says yes, but then doesn’t like the idea and screams at Cornette a bunch before having him say he is management, Joe is talent, and he needs to do it for TNA tonight. Joe says fine, but Cornette is responsible for whatever happens in the ring tonight. Off to a Joe – Nash video package.
Back from the break…
Time for blind date #3. We pick up dinner with Kurt talking about… what else… himself. His date looks normal this time, but keeps excusing herself every few minutes. Kurt being the genius he is figures out she must be “one of those belemics”, and confronts her about it. She points out that she has a serious medical condition, a spastic colon. Kurt starts making some bad jokes until she gets up and leaves. Kurt then becomes enraged when JB points out the Brother Ray got him good three times today.
World X Cup Second Round Match
Team International’s Alex Koslov vs. Team Mexico’s Rey Buccanero
This was a decent match with a lot of athleticism. Alex Koslov is a great talent and should get to stay in TNA. In the end though Buccanero got the pinfall.
Winner: Team Mexico’s, Rey Buccanero
Team Mexico now has 3 points, while Team TNA has 2, and both Team International and Team Japan have zero.
To the back with Kurt Angle hunting for Brother Ray. JB tells him how Team 3D got him into the Fan’s Choice match at Victory Road, and that makes him even madder.
Back from the break…
Kurt comes down to the ring to call Team 3D down to the ring. Brother Ray wants to go into the back and talk it all out, and then tells him that Devon made the Fan’s Choice match. Kurt isn’t buying it. Ray goes on to explain that when he got home he had lost his little black book, so instead he used Devon’s, “and between you and me, you know what kind of sick crap he is into.” Ray then offers Kurt a woman he just met last night, who he calls down to the ring. Out came Sandy, and Kurt looked happy. She was decent looking. Kurt asked her what she had to offer an Olympic Gold Medalist. Her main point was being loyal. Kurt went on a rant about how no women are loyal. Sandy eventually said, “screw you!” Kurt pointed out he would never hit a woman, but he does know some people that do. Out came The Beautiful People to give Sandy the Brown Bag Treatment. Karen came down to the ring to put a stop to it, taking out Velvet and Angelina, then slapping Kurt across the face. All five then circled Karen, but before they could do anything in came the cavalry. . . A.J. Styles, Rhino, ODB, and Gail Kim. They quickly cleared the ring.
After the break…
To the back for JB in Booker T’s locker room. He makes him take off his shoes, and put on a silk robe before they could talk. He talked about Joe briefly.
After another break…
More Rough Cut with Matt Morgan. He talks about his start in wrestling, and getting signed to a WWE contract. Where he was sent to Ohio Valley Wrestling and met Jim Cornette. Kurt Angle and Cornette talked about how it was ridiculously stupid to use Matt Morgan for the whole stuttering gimmick.
World X Cup Match
Team Japan’s team captain, Milano Collection A.T. vs. Team TNA’s Curry Man
For those that don’t know Milano Collection A.T. he comes to the ring with an invisible dog on the end of a leash, and considers himself an Italian fashion model. This was not a very good match. Milano was playing to the crowd way too much and was too “showy”, which is hard to say about someone who is in the ring with Curry Man, considering how much of the same thing he does. In the end Milano got the pin.
Winner: Milano Collection A.T.
To the back with Lauren interviewing Beer-Money, Inc. They debut their new t-shirts which says “Beer Money” and then has an arrow pointing down a bit that says “Play Tag Titles Here”.
After the break…
Time for the Knockouts Challenge match
Raisha Sayid vs. Taylor
If Taylor wins this match she gets a title shot against Awesome Kong. The match went back and forth a bit till Taylor rolled to the outside for a break. Kong hit her with a big clothesline, then Sayid went out and whipped her into the steel ring steps. Back in the ring where Sayid was still controlling things, till she went to the top rope for a moonsault. Taylor moved out of the way and Sayid crashed down to the mat. Taylor took over and went for the pin, but Kong pulled referee Rudy Charles out of the ring to break up the count. She then hit a fisherman’s suplex and got the three count.
Winner: (Shantelle) Taylor
Taylor will get a title shot next week, she will also win the $25,000 if she can win.
Back from the break…
Another video package about Gail Kim.
To the ring for the main event match.
James Storm & Robert Roode with Jackie vs. Samoa Joe & Kevin Nash
This match had nothing to do with Beer-Money, Inc., but instead was all about Joe and Nash. They had a few disagreements throughout the match. In the end however, Nash came in and helped out Joe, then took Storm outside the ring where they would fight. Meanwhile in the ring Joe took care of Roode, hitting the Muscle Buster and getting the three count.
Winners: Samoa Joe & Kevin Nash
Neither man wanted the ref to raise their hand with the other. As they started talking to one another Sting’s music started and the camera’s searched around to see where he was. He was up in the rafters, they showed him once and then went off the air.
This was a not so good show as far as wrestling goes. There were six matches total, but that includes a Bimbo’s Brawl, and too lackluster World X Cup matches, as well as the Beer-Money, Inc. match which was just a set up for the main event match. From an entertainment standpoint, there were some funny moments in the Kurt Angle blind date sequences. That however didn’t make the entire show worthwhile. It is good to see Sting making a return, but who knows for how long or why.
Hopefully next week’s two hour long commercial for the pay-per-view will be better.
Episode Title: The Mating Game
The show started off with A.J. Styles and Karen Angle coming down to the ring. A.J. called out Kurt Angle, but instead out came Team 3D. They talked a bunch back and forth, then got to fighting. While they were getting the table Rhino came out to save A.J.. They then set up a match at Victory Road which the fans will have the chance to decide the stipulations of the match. It will be Team 3D and Kurt Angle vs. A.J. Styles, Rhino, and Christian Cage in either a Tables, Ladders, and Chairs match, a Falls Count Anywhere match, or a Full Metal Mayhem match.
Next we go on location with JB and Kurt Angle who is about to go on his first of three blind dates that Team 3D set him up on. He was meeting the first one at the rock wall in the gym. He got there and found a loud woman who was not quite attractive and looked to be lucky that she got into the safety harness, nevermind being able to climb the rock wall. The camera turned to Kurt and he said “Very funny Brother Ray and Brother Devon, the joke’s on me, huh?”
After the break...
We got to see some videos sent in by the applicants for the Fan’s Revenge match between LAX and Beer-Money, Inc.. Then they went to Houston for comments from LAX, until James Storms music started to play in the iMPACT! Zone. They came out to the ring and talked over one another for a bit. Down came their opponents for the night, The Motor City Machine Guns, Chris Sabin, and Alex Shelley
Robert Roode & James Storm vs. Chris Sabin & Alex Shelley
It was the usual MCMG (Motor City Machine Gun) match, they controlled early with fast-paced action. That is until a cheap shot from Storm on Sabin which allowed them to takeover. They would fight off the Machine Guns attempt at offense again. Then Storm held Shelley while Jackie took a swig of beer and tried to spit it in his face, but Shelley ducked and it went right into Storm’s face. He then rolled him up for the three count.
Winners: The Motor City Machine Guns
After the match Beer-Money, Inc. attacked, and handcuffed MCMG to the corners of the ring and started to whip them with the belts. Refs came down to try and stop them and got whipped too, then security suffered the same fate. They then whipped announcer Don West a few times, and moved onto ring announcer Dave Pinzer. At this point Jim Cornette came out and told them if they whip that man one more time they are both out of a job. He then decided to put them in a match later tonight against the two most disgruntled, biggest, a whole bunch of other adjectives wrestlers he could find in the back.
After the break…
Time for blind date #2. This time it is Melissa and he is meeting “her” for drinks. She walks in and Kurt comments how it is dark in the place, even though he is wearing his sunglasses. He then has JB turn the camera onto Melissa. Of course JB focuses right on her chest. He notices a bunch of chest hair! Then notices an adam’s apple. He informs Kurt that she is a he and Kurt flips out and attacks him. Telling him to tell Brother Ray he is going to kick his butt on Thursday.
Back to the ring…
Bimbo’s Brawl
(Mickie) Moose vs. Roxxi
This week it was a bit more exciting than the match with ODB. It included a lot more use of weapons. By the end Roxxi was busted open and pouring blood from above her eye. Moose got the win.
Winner: Moose
To the back with Jim Cornette getting the two men for the match with Beer-Money, Inc.. The first member of the team is Kevin Nash who says yes.
After the break…
Jim Cornette again, getting the second man of the team, Samoa Joe. Joes says yes, but then doesn’t like the idea and screams at Cornette a bunch before having him say he is management, Joe is talent, and he needs to do it for TNA tonight. Joe says fine, but Cornette is responsible for whatever happens in the ring tonight. Off to a Joe – Nash video package.
Back from the break…
Time for blind date #3. We pick up dinner with Kurt talking about… what else… himself. His date looks normal this time, but keeps excusing herself every few minutes. Kurt being the genius he is figures out she must be “one of those belemics”, and confronts her about it. She points out that she has a serious medical condition, a spastic colon. Kurt starts making some bad jokes until she gets up and leaves. Kurt then becomes enraged when JB points out the Brother Ray got him good three times today.
World X Cup Second Round Match
Team International’s Alex Koslov vs. Team Mexico’s Rey Buccanero
This was a decent match with a lot of athleticism. Alex Koslov is a great talent and should get to stay in TNA. In the end though Buccanero got the pinfall.
Winner: Team Mexico’s, Rey Buccanero
Team Mexico now has 3 points, while Team TNA has 2, and both Team International and Team Japan have zero.
To the back with Kurt Angle hunting for Brother Ray. JB tells him how Team 3D got him into the Fan’s Choice match at Victory Road, and that makes him even madder.
Back from the break…
Kurt comes down to the ring to call Team 3D down to the ring. Brother Ray wants to go into the back and talk it all out, and then tells him that Devon made the Fan’s Choice match. Kurt isn’t buying it. Ray goes on to explain that when he got home he had lost his little black book, so instead he used Devon’s, “and between you and me, you know what kind of sick crap he is into.” Ray then offers Kurt a woman he just met last night, who he calls down to the ring. Out came Sandy, and Kurt looked happy. She was decent looking. Kurt asked her what she had to offer an Olympic Gold Medalist. Her main point was being loyal. Kurt went on a rant about how no women are loyal. Sandy eventually said, “screw you!” Kurt pointed out he would never hit a woman, but he does know some people that do. Out came The Beautiful People to give Sandy the Brown Bag Treatment. Karen came down to the ring to put a stop to it, taking out Velvet and Angelina, then slapping Kurt across the face. All five then circled Karen, but before they could do anything in came the cavalry. . . A.J. Styles, Rhino, ODB, and Gail Kim. They quickly cleared the ring.
After the break…
To the back for JB in Booker T’s locker room. He makes him take off his shoes, and put on a silk robe before they could talk. He talked about Joe briefly.
After another break…
More Rough Cut with Matt Morgan. He talks about his start in wrestling, and getting signed to a WWE contract. Where he was sent to Ohio Valley Wrestling and met Jim Cornette. Kurt Angle and Cornette talked about how it was ridiculously stupid to use Matt Morgan for the whole stuttering gimmick.
World X Cup Match
Team Japan’s team captain, Milano Collection A.T. vs. Team TNA’s Curry Man
For those that don’t know Milano Collection A.T. he comes to the ring with an invisible dog on the end of a leash, and considers himself an Italian fashion model. This was not a very good match. Milano was playing to the crowd way too much and was too “showy”, which is hard to say about someone who is in the ring with Curry Man, considering how much of the same thing he does. In the end Milano got the pin.
Winner: Milano Collection A.T.
To the back with Lauren interviewing Beer-Money, Inc. They debut their new t-shirts which says “Beer Money” and then has an arrow pointing down a bit that says “Play Tag Titles Here”.
After the break…
Time for the Knockouts Challenge match
Raisha Sayid vs. Taylor
If Taylor wins this match she gets a title shot against Awesome Kong. The match went back and forth a bit till Taylor rolled to the outside for a break. Kong hit her with a big clothesline, then Sayid went out and whipped her into the steel ring steps. Back in the ring where Sayid was still controlling things, till she went to the top rope for a moonsault. Taylor moved out of the way and Sayid crashed down to the mat. Taylor took over and went for the pin, but Kong pulled referee Rudy Charles out of the ring to break up the count. She then hit a fisherman’s suplex and got the three count.
Winner: (Shantelle) Taylor
Taylor will get a title shot next week, she will also win the $25,000 if she can win.
Back from the break…
Another video package about Gail Kim.
To the ring for the main event match.
James Storm & Robert Roode with Jackie vs. Samoa Joe & Kevin Nash
This match had nothing to do with Beer-Money, Inc., but instead was all about Joe and Nash. They had a few disagreements throughout the match. In the end however, Nash came in and helped out Joe, then took Storm outside the ring where they would fight. Meanwhile in the ring Joe took care of Roode, hitting the Muscle Buster and getting the three count.
Winners: Samoa Joe & Kevin Nash
Neither man wanted the ref to raise their hand with the other. As they started talking to one another Sting’s music started and the camera’s searched around to see where he was. He was up in the rafters, they showed him once and then went off the air.
This was a not so good show as far as wrestling goes. There were six matches total, but that includes a Bimbo’s Brawl, and too lackluster World X Cup matches, as well as the Beer-Money, Inc. match which was just a set up for the main event match. From an entertainment standpoint, there were some funny moments in the Kurt Angle blind date sequences. That however didn’t make the entire show worthwhile. It is good to see Sting making a return, but who knows for how long or why.
Sting makes his return to TNA.
Hopefully next week’s two hour long commercial for the pay-per-view will be better.
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